{"id":365,"date":"2012-01-07T14:41:03","date_gmt":"2012-01-07T06:41:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rainsight.net\/blog\/?p=365"},"modified":"2012-01-07T14:41:03","modified_gmt":"2012-01-07T06:41:03","slug":"yes-minister-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/?p=365","title":{"rendered":"yes minister – 4"},"content":{"rendered":"
November 9th<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
Today was disastrous. There have been some quite astounding turns of events.<\/span><\/div>\n
My speech was completed. I was sitting in the office reading the press release when Bernard burst in with a minute from the PM\u2019s private office.<\/span><\/div>\n
I have learned, by the way, that minutes, memos and submissions are all the same thing. Except that ministers send minutes to civil servants and to each other, whereas civil servants send memos and minutes to each other but submissions to ministers.<\/span><\/div>\n
[This\u00a0is because a minute takes or orders action whereas a memo presents the background arguments, the pros and cons. Therefore, civil servants may send either to each other, as may politicians -but as a civil servant may not tell a Minister what to do he sends a submission, the very word designed to express an attitude of humility and respect. Minutes may, of course, also be notes about official meetings, and this meaning gives rise to the well-known Civil Service axiom that meetings are where civil servants take minutes but politicians take hours – Ed. ]<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
Anyway, the minute made it dear that we were all to be very nice to the Yanks for the next few weeks. I realised that my speech, which had gone out to the press, could not have been timed worse.<\/span><\/div>\n
I was appalled. Not only by my bad luck. But I find it incredible that I, as a member of the Cabinet, should have no knowledge of forth\u00adcoming defence agreements with the Americans. Whatever has hap\u00adpened to the doctrine of collective responsibility that I learned about at the LSE?<\/span><\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
\n
Sir Humphrey then hurried in to my office, looking slightly panicky.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018Sorry to burst in, Minister, but all hell\u2019s broken loose at Number Ten – apparently they\u2019ve just seen your speech. They are asking why we didn\u2019t obtain clearance. \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018What did you say? \u2019 I asked.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018I said that we believe in Open Government. But it seemed to make things worse. The PM wants to see you in the House, right away. \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
I realised that this could be the end for me. I asked Humphrey what was likely to happen. Sir Humphrey shrugged.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018The Prime Minister giveth – and the Prime Minister taketh away. \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
I left the room feeling sick. As I started down the corridor I thought I heard Sir Humphrey add: \u2018Blessed be the name of the Prime Minister. \u2019 But I think I must have imagined that.<\/span><\/div>\n
Humphrey, Frank and I hurried down Whitehall past the Cenotaph (how very appropriate that seemed! ). There was an icy wind blowing. We went straight to the House. I was to meet the PM behind the Speaker\u2019s chair.<\/span><\/div>\n
[This does not mean, literally, behind the chair. It is the area of the House where the PM and the Leader of the Opposition, the two Chief Whips, the Leader of the House and others, meet on neutral ground to arrange the business of the House. The PM\u2019s office is to be found there too- Ed. ]<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
We were kept waiting for some minutes outside the PM\u2019s room. Then Vic Gould, our Chief Whip, emerged. He came straight over to me.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018You\u2019re a real pain in the arse, aren\u2019t you? \u2019 Vic really does pride himself on his dreadful manners. \u2018The PM\u2019s going up the wall. Hitting the roof. You can\u2019t go around making speeches like that. \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018It\u2019s Open Government, \u2019 said Frank.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018Shut up, Weasel, who asked you? \u2019 retorted Vic. Rude bugger. Typical Chief Whip.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018Weisel, \u2019 said Frank with dignity.<\/span><\/div>\n
I sprang to Frank\u2019s defence. \u2018He\u2019s right, Vic. It\u2019s Open Govern\u00adment. It\u2019s in our manifesto. One of our main planks. The PM believes in Open Government too. \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018Open, yes, \u2019 said Vic. \u2018But not gaping. \u2019 Very witty, I don\u2019t think! \u2018In politics, \u2019 Vic went on relentlessly, \u2018you\u2019ve got to learn to say things with tact and finesse – you berk! \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

I suppose he\u2019s got a point. I felt very sheepish, but partly because I\u00a0didn\u2019t exactly enjoy being ignominiously ticked off in front of Hum\u00adphrey and Frank.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\u2018How long have you been a Minister? \u2019 Vic asked me. Bloody silly question. He knows perfectly well. He was just asking for effect.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018A week and a half, \u2019 I told him.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018Then I think you may have earned yourself a place in the\u00a0Guinness Book of Records, \u2019<\/em>\u00a0he replied. \u2018I can see the headlines already –<\/span><\/div>\n
CABINET SPLIT ON U. S. TRADE. HACKER LEADS REVOLT AGAINST\u00a0<\/span>prime minister!<\/span>\u00a0That\u2019s what you wanted, is it? \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
And he walked away.<\/span><\/div>\n
Then Sir Arnold Robinson, the Cabinet Secretary, came out of the PM\u2019s office. Sir Humphrey asked him what news there was.<\/span><\/div>\n
Sir Arnold said the same things, only in Whitehall language. \u2018That speech is causing the Prime Minister some distress. Has it definitely been released to the press? \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
I explained th<\/em>at I gave express instructions for it to go out at twelve noon. Sir Arnold seemed angry with Sir Humphrey. \u2018I’m appalled at you, \u2019 he said. I\u2019ve never heard one civil servant express himself so strongly to another. \u2018How could you allow your Minister to put himself in this position without going through the proper channels? \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
Humphrey turned to me for help. \u2018The Minister and I, \u2019 he began, \u2018believe in Open Government. We want to throw open the windows and let in a bit of fresh air. Isn\u2019t that right, Minister? \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
I nodded, but couldn\u2019t speak. For the first time, Sir Arnold addres\u00adsed me directly.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018Well, Minister, it\u2019s good party stuff but it places the PM in a very difficult position, personally. \u2019 That, in Sir Arnold\u2019s language, is about the most threatening: thing that has ever been said to me.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018But… what about our commitment to Open Government? \u2019 I finally managed to ask.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u2018This, \u2019 replied Sir Arnold drily, \u2018seems to be the closed season for Open Government. \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
Then Sir Humphrey voiced my worst fears by murmuring quietly: \u2018Do you want to give thought to a draft letter of resignation? Just in case, of course. \u2019<\/span><\/div>\n
I know that Humphrey was just trying to be helpful, but he really doesn\u2019t give much moral support in a crisis.<\/span><\/div>\n
I, could see that there was only one possibility left. \u2018Can\u2019t we hush it up? \u2019 I said suddenly.<\/span><\/div>\n
Humphrey, to his credit, was completely baffled by this suggestion. He didn\u2019t even seem to understand what\u00a0I<\/em>\u00a0meant. These civil servants<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

November 9th Today was disastrous. There have been some […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-unnamed"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=365"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}