{"id":313,"date":"2012-01-02T15:31:17","date_gmt":"2012-01-02T07:31:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rainsight.net\/blog\/?p=313"},"modified":"2012-01-02T15:31:17","modified_gmt":"2012-01-02T07:31:17","slug":"yes-minister","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ido.fm\/?p=313","title":{"rendered":"yes minister"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"yes<\/p>\n

\"yes<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Contents<\/p>\n

EDITORS’NOTE 5
\n1 OPEN GOVERNMENT 11<\/p>\n

2 THE OFFICIAL VISIT 30<\/p>\n

3 THE ECONOMY DRIVE 55<\/p>\n

4 BIG BROTHER 78<\/p>\n

5 THE WRITING ON THE WALL 103<\/p>\n

6 THE RIGHT TO KNOW 124<\/p>\n

7 JOBS FOR THE BOYS 149<\/p>\n

8 THE COMPASSIONATE SOCIETY 171<\/p>\n

9 THE DEATH LIST 201<\/p>\n

10 DOING THE HONOURS 227<\/p>\n

11 THE GREASY POLE 247<\/p>\n

12 THE DEVIL YOU KNOW 272<\/p>\n

13 THE QUALITY OF LIFE 297<\/p>\n

14 A QUESTION OF LOYALTY 322<\/p>\n

15 EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES 347<\/p>\n

16 THE CHALLENGE 374<\/p>\n

17 THE MORAL DIMENSION 400<\/p>\n

18 THE BED OF NAILS 423<\/p>\n

19 THE WHISKY PRIEST 445<\/p>\n

20 THE MIDDLE-CLASS RIP-OFF 469<\/p>\n

21 THE SKELETON IN THE CUPBOARD 492<\/p>\n

THE COMPLETE<\/p>\n

YES MINISTER<\/p>\n

1
\nOpen Government
\nOctober 22nd
\nWell, perhaps it\u2019s the early hours of Friday, the 23rd now. I am most excited. I have just been returned to Parliament by Birmingham East. And after years in opposition, the party has finally won a general election and we\u2019re back in office.
\nAfter the result was announced I went to the celebration do at Alderman Spotteswoode\u2019s1 and saw Robert McKenzie on the telly say: \u2018And so Jim Hacker\u2019s back, with an increased majority in his marginal constituency. After many years as a Shadow Minister he seems almost certain to get a Cabinet post in the new government. \u2019
\nRobin Day seemed doubtful, though. I do hope Bob McKenzie\u2019s right.
\nOctober 23 3rd
\nI\u2019m still hoping but I wonder if Robin Day knows something that I don\u2019t.
\nI\u2019ve been sitting by the telephone ever since breakfast. No potential Cabinet Minister ever moves more than twenty feet from the telephone in the twenty-four hours following the appointment of a new Prime Minister. If you haven\u2019t heard within twenty-four hours, you\u2019re not going to be in the Cabinet.
\nAnnie kept me supplied with constant cups of coffee all morning, and when I returned to the armchair next to the phone after lunch she asked me to help do the Brussels sprouts for dinner if I didn\u2019t have anything else to do. I explained to her that I couldn\u2019t because I was waiting for the call.
\n\u2018Who from? \u2019 Sometimes Annie really is a bit dense.
\nThe phone rang. I grabbed it. It was Frank Weisel, my special
\n‘ Hacker\u2019s constituency party Chairman.
\n11
\nYES MINISTER
\npolitical adviser, saying that he was on his way over. I told Annie, who wasn\u2019t pleased.
\n\u2018Why doesn\u2019t he just move in? \u2019 she asked bitterly.
\nSometimes I just don\u2019t understand her. I patiently explained to her that, as my political adviser, I depend on Frank more than anyone. \u2018Then why don\u2019t you marry him?’ she asked. \u2018I now pronounce you man and political adviser. Whom politics has joined let no wife put asunder. \u2019It is awfully difficult for Annie, I know. Being an MP\u2019s wife is a pretty thankless task. But now that I may be a Minister, she\u2019ll at last reap the rewards!
\nThe phone rang all day. Alderman Spotteswoode, the Gas Board, Frank, all sorts of useless people ringing up to congratulate me. \u2018On what? \u2019 I said to Annie: \u2018Don\u2019t they realise I\u2019m waiting for the call?\u2019
\nShe said, \u2018You sound as if you\u2019re about to enter the ministry. \u2019
\n\u2018Yes, \u2019 I said, \u2018but which ministry, that\u2019s the whole point. \u2019
\nSuddenly Annie screamed. I couldn\u2019t believe my ears. \u2018It was a joke!’ she shouted, and started to pull her hair out. I decided that she must be a bit tense.
\n\u2018Are you a bit tense? \u2019 I asked. She screamed again, and threw herself onto the floor. I thought of calling an ambulance, but was worried about the adverse publicity affecting my career at this crucial juncture – new minister\u2019s wife taken away in strait-jacket.
\n\u2018Are you a bit tense? \u2019 I asked again. Carefully.
\n\u2018No, \u2019 she shouted – \u2018No, no, no, I\u2019m not tense. I\u2019m just a politician\u2019s wife. I\u2019m not allowed to have feelings. I\u2019m just a happy carefree politician\u2019s wife. \u2019
\nSo I asked her why she was lying face downwards on the floor. \u2018I\u2019m looking for a cigarette. I can\u2019t find any. \u2019
\n\u2018Try the cigarette box, \u2019 I advised, trying to keep calm.
\n\u2018It\u2019s empty. \u2019
\n\u2018Take a Valium. \u2019
\n\u2018I can\u2019t find the Valium, that\u2019s why I\u2019m looking for a cigarette. Jim, pop out and get me some. \u2019
\nI explained to Annie that I simply didn\u2019t dare leave the phone. Annie betrayed her usual total lack of understanding. \u2018Look, if the PM wants you to be in the bloody Cabinet, the PM will phone back if you\u2019re out. Or you can phone back. \u2019
\nAnnie will never understand the finer points of politics.
\n[Hacker was very insecure about his cabinet prospects because he had previously run Martin Walker\u2019s campaign against the new PM for<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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